Needing to talk with someone

Well, since I have on one to talk to about what I want to talk about, I'm going to talk about it here. See, I few months ago (November, 2007) I answered a posting on Craigs List. We talked back and forth and decided to meet in a neutral spot to say hi.

We hit it off and ended up meeting again at his place a couple of weeks later. We don't get to meet very often....he has a partner...I have a wife..he travels...his partner travels..they are together a few days each week...etc...etc..etc........

Today we were to meet and that didn't happen. I'm sad. I like him very much. I wish we could see each other more often (see above). I would love to be able to pick up the phone and call him, but can't (see above). I want to know more about him and I want him to know more about me..but can't (see above). I want to hear his voice and hear him laugh..but can't (see above). I want to be held...I want to be touched...I want to be loved...I want to love...but CAN'T (see above)--sigh :O(.

I'm Tired of.......

1. Working two jobs to make ends meet
2. My children fighting all the time
3. Not waking up next to someone I love
4. Not falling asleep next to someone I love
5. Being married
6. Looking in the mirror every morning and not liking what I see
7. Pretending to be someone that I'm not
8. Being lonely
9. Not having many friends
10. The once a week (sometimes) meeting with a friend that I met online (I want more)
11. Not being able to open up and share with my once a week friend
12. Not being able to pick up the cell phone and call my once a week friend
13. My so called friend who lived a double standard and told me otherwise
14. My mother not thinking I'm good enough
15. My father who never showed me love
16. My real mother for not letting me know who she is
17. Not having someone that makes real love to me
18. Not having someone to talk with...to just be a friend
19. Me
20. Looking for hookups online
21. Lack of sleep
22. Throwing up
23. Hiding
24. Crying
25. Sadness