Many, many times, I often daydream about true love. Is there such a thing? Is there someone out there that I could really call my true love, my partner for life? I'm not sure! Can two people be fully committed to each other, love unconditionally and be soul mates. I hope one day to find out. I question this only because of my past. I am married, but have cheated on my wife. I have a very close friend, who has a partner. My friend has cheated on his partner(with me). I know this is wrong, but I've continued to do so. I don't want to continue. I want that one special person in my life. Am I being old fashioned? Is that not the norm these days? Is it too much of me to expect to have one person who is totally committed to me and I totally committed to him? I want to do life with someone.
....But before I can do life with someone...I must leave the life I currently have behind...and in that process, there are going to be people that get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone. I've had my share of hurts and I don't want anyone to have to experience that. Sometimes I feel like I should just stay hidden...I should be the one hurting..no one every knowing the true me...but can I survive that way...can I hide the rest of my life...am I being true to myself and those around me...no...not if I continue to hide......
Where would I live...would my kids still love me....will I be alone..never finding that one special person....will I be reject by all those around me.....who would be there for me when I need a shoulder...a hug...just to be with someone....to talk...to cry with....
1 comment:
very hard questions indeed...
Have you been able to approach your spouse and have a conversation about it yet?
That is a scarey proposition for sure... I don't know if I would be better or happier if I madea change, but there are days when I really think about it
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